01.23 am

'Mungkin saya yang terlalu mensugestikan diriku sendiri sampai berlarut-larut..'

I said it to one of my friend as we walked along together to the classroom. Yesterday went badly. Okay, not bad, it was worst.

I felt tired, mentally. I need to lay my back down to the ground, so then I shut my self off by sleeping at campus. It was blackout but I was still able to sleep. I felt all bad by the moment I woke up. Seems like I lose all my spirit away.

There are always times when I don't feel like talking. And these last three weeks are the worst.

I need to go somewhere. A friend of mine asked me to go with him, but I felt disappointed and i can't help my self no to cry as he offered me and then I choosed not to go and just go home--where no one is around.

I walked into the door and then locked my self there. My dad has a meeting and he wont be around in next three days. My mom and sisters were going with him too but they'll be coming back at night. So there I was alone. With no one to talk to.

It was three in the afternoon--and I really don't get why is it so easy for me to cry.

I was exhausted, and then I sleep over. I woke up at 06.30 pm and discovered that it was already night. Still nobody is around. I turned on the lamps and then lay my self down again until 9--and I already heard my door being knocked. Still not a good feeling. Seems like I was having too much sleep. I guess you know how it feels when you cry yourself out until your spirit run out and then you feel all empty.

So here I am. Helpless......