First attempt making $$$

Because one day, you gotta do everything all by yourself and feel that undefineable kind of pleasure.

That's what I told myself a couple years ago. I was busy finding out what I could come up with. Working on some works without expecting any rewards in return. I was just keep going on what I could work on. No hard feeling.

I basically was learning to do things all by myself. I ride my bike alone in midnight, I go the shop alone, either. No other reason but the fact that however we are gonna get ourselves ready to face the solitude afterwards. I remember that lines from The Art Of Getting By movie. We live alone, we die alone, everything else is just an illusion. :))

It's always nice to see people work on their own fields without being obsessed. I mean, isn't it nice to have something to work, along with the obstacles to overcome? Isn't it nice to get to recognize the passion you can't stand not doing? But afterall, you could still drive yourself well along the track. 

I was talking to one of my friends weeks ago about how her job does to her. Things doesn't always seem like what they seem. I eventually come up with an idea that once in our lifetime—while we are still young, we are gonna get to know how it feels like to be a labor. I once was, and I wasn't feel sorry at all. 

The harder you work, the luckier you get. 

It's been years I've worked on my hobbies whole-heartedly. I thank God that I could get the chance to know so many inspiring people that has the same hobby as mine, and build such as good relationship instead. For all the things that happens to me, I believe that it has all been written. It supposed to go that way. It just does.

"Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life." Yes, just a second away until I talk about the money. Kinda light, yet too sensitive. However, we—human being—need to be recharged because we constantly run out of energy. 

"Don't think about the money. Just work on it." Someone was trying to motivate me while I was feeling so beaten up. I was running out of energy, for sure. There was my ego which play its role. For all the works I make, there was definitely the costs that requires. I spend hours until I could no longer feel my back. There were nights I spend widely awake. I sound a bit like moaning. Yeah, sort of. We can't deny that we all have these kind of 'desire'. That's what i'd like myself remember about—to always appreciate people's work.

The process was a bit challenging, but the result was definitely worth the effort. 

So glad that these client of mine needs the same exact style like one of my works. I was sick when I draw these piece of hand-lettering. For real. 

I don't know whether the universe conspires in helping me earn what I need. But everything seems virtually connected. Like, there are people I could ask for anything related to these stuff, like the proper price and else. This is not a huge thing, I know. But the value of family's happiness is way too huge. I once made money for numbers of times but never had the chance to give it out. My mom smiled, she took the half of the amount I planned to give her. "I can't imagine how if you have a 'real' job."

This is my first time working for foreigner. So glad that I could do the design for Recon Apparel Company (www.reconap.com) based at Arizona, US. Glad to see your works being appreciated. 

"Never forget how great you are." One of my awesome friend whom I barely known taught me. He said so to motivate anyone to determine the "value" of their works. Yes, never forget how great you are, but don't think that you are the greatest. There are so many people who is capable of singing, do graphic design, painting, cooking, and else. All we ought to do is appreciate what we got—be thankful for what we have born with. 

Still long way to go, ms. Shabrina. 

Introspeksi.

Seringkali kita menilai buruk orang lain untuk perbuatan yang mereka lakukan. Padahal sebenarnya kadang alasannya hanya karena kita tidak menyukai perbuatan tersebut. Menurut kita, “apa coba?”. Kita tahu jelas bahwa setiap orang memiliki selera yang berbeda dan cara masing-masing untuk menyenangkan diri. Lalu mengapa kita harus menghakimi orang lain untuk perbuatan tersebut karena kita tidak suka?

Saya dikelilingi oleh teman-teman yang sangat suka nonton film Korea. Sedangkan saya sendiri gak begitu suka. Film Korea terakhir yang saya tonton itu “Miracle in Cell no. 7” . Saya akui memang film itu bikin saya nangis darah sambil guling-guling terus habis itu saya moonwalk dari kampus ke rumah saking sedihnya. Tapi saya gak pernah tertarik untuk nonton film-film Korea walaupun katanya Lee Min Hoo ganteng banget disitu. Saya masih milih Donny Alamsyah kok. Bagaimanapun kita harus mencintai produk dalam negeri. Kalo bukan kita, siapa lagi kan? 

Saya bukan gak suka sama film Korea, tapi saya seringkali mendengar banyak orang yang meng-underestimate karya Made in Asia tersebut. Seperti yang kita jelas tahu, penonton film-film Korea di seluruh dunia di dominasi oleh kaum Hawa. Konon ceritanya, Film Korea memiliki kekuatannya tersendiri. Alur ceritanya terbukti magical sehingga mampu mengundang air mata diikuti dengan ingus yang meler-meler kesana kemari. Kalo menurut orang-orang yang memandang film Korea sebelah mata, pasti beranggapan bahwa itu cuma buang-buang waktu. Ngapain coba nonton film semacam itu terus habis itu jadinya ber-ekspektasi yang enggak-enggak, sesuai dengan apa yang ditonton? Toh hidup ini sudah terlalu getir. *asik.

Lama kelamaan kebiasaan menonton film Korea menjadi sebuah candu. Setiap harinya mereka menghabiskan berjam-jam menatap takjub ketampanan Lee Min Hoo lewat layar kaca. Lagi, yang menganggap Film Korea adalah ‘sampah’ pasti langsung bergidik sambil bilang ‘apa gak ada lagi sesuatu yang lebih bermutu yang bisa dikerjakan dari nonton film Korea?”

Nah, apa bedanya nonton film Korea sama nonton pertandingan bola?

Kita menganggap nonton film Korea itu buang-buang waktu, sementara kita mengikuti perkembangan Liga Inggris dan sekiranya menghabiskan hampir dua jam setiap pertandingan. Sesekali kita berada dalam momen saat kita dikecewakan oleh tim andalan kita yang mengalami kekalahan. Tapi kita sama sekali tidak menganggap menonton pertandingan bola itu buang-buang waktu. Walaupun sebenarnya rasa sakit karena tim andalan kita kalah tidak jauh beda dengan rasa sakit melihat Lee Min Hoo berpisah sama Susi yang dipindahin kerja ke Arab.

Yap, Perbuatan yang sama dalam bentuk yang berbeda. Mengapa kita harus menghakimi orang lain untuk perbuatan yang mereka lakukan sementara kita pun melakukannya, dalam bentuk yang berbeda?

Kita berkoar-koar memerangi korupsi yang dilakukan oleh para petinggi negara, padahal uang untuk kebutuhan kuliah kadang kita masih tidak jujur. Kita berkoar-koar untuk melakukan penghijauan bumi, padahal buang sampah aja masih suka lewat kaca mobil. Kita berkoar-koar untuk melakukan penghematan energi, sementara ngelepasin chargeran dari colokan aja masih suka males. Kita berkoar-koar melawan pemborosan air, padahal kita sendiri sebenarnya suka boros waktu. Betapa kita tidak menyadari bahwa sebenarnya kita adalah wujud dari perbuatan yang kita kecam.

Sebagai orang yang bukan lagi anak kecil, kita pasti tahu yang mana yang baik dan yang bukan. Walaupun kadang yang tidak baik adalah sesuatu yang menyenangkan. Tapi saya percaya sesuatu yang bermanfaat adalah sesuatu yang paling baik.

Kalo memang nonton film Korea bikin kamu jadi lebih bijak dalam menyikapi hidup, good for you. Kalo memang nonton Liga Inggris bikin kamu ter-motivasi untuk bermain bola secara lebih baik lagi, good for you.

Sulit memang menjadi bijaksana tanpa kedengaran judgemental. Setidaknya dengan itu kita sadar, bahwa kita sebenarnya tidak pernah benar-benar lebih baik dari orang lain. Serta alangkah baiknya untuk selalu memulai dari diri sendiri terlebih dahulu. 

Runaway

Let's go to some places new
Where people are only few
We could pass by the empty streets
With the leaves strewn beneath our feets
There's no light but the stars that looks bright
Sharing jokes as much as we might
Making it another long but short night
And be filled with a little fight
Let's be anything silly
Forgetting that we were once lonely
Sit around with the sand or the land or the grass underneath
Listen close to the sound of each other's heartbeat
Let's be alone, with our hands holding.

We'll Never Find The Right One

Let go of the wrong person and find the right one, They said.

If only it is as simple as how it sounds. Because it's funny yet ironic how a person whom we define as the wrong one is the one whom we think is right at the very first place. Everyone have the same potential to hurt any human being, don't they? Then why are we thinking that we'll ever find one that will always do us good?

Get over it and move your ass on, They said.

It always takes time, I know. We can't force everything that's not meant to be. We could never forget the things that once happened, we could only pretend like we do—until we get used to the scars which the time has left us with.

You'll find the one who is willing to stay in your life, forever. They said.

Tell me, how long does 'forever' takes? Why are we blaming the one who only passed by—wishing them to stay a long while—when we know it's their right to wander, and in the end we got nothing to demand, at all?

Will we ever find the right one? I asked you.

We will always have excuses to doubt about anything. Every single thing. I believe somehow, no matter how far we look for something best, we could never find one which is really best. As well as the right people that I first discussed. The main case overall. No matter how far we look for it, we're never gonna find one. 

I know it's way too blurry. Let me tell you something which you might already knew.

You might love someone, right now. The one whom you call boyfriend/girlfriend. The one whom you believe that she/he is the one you'll spend the rest of your life with. There always the thought that arises as they make you mad, disappointed, or anything you dislike. She/he doesn't love me that much, you told so to yourself. And then you get miserable by it.

But again, people make mistake, and it's gonna change the way you think towards them. People will keep on making mistakes, as the time still ticking—as the sun still shining. No matter how long we seek, we'll never find 'the right one'. Because the right one is the one whom we define as the right one. We define them so. We know that nobody is perfect. And we know that even the one we love, make mistakes too.