Settle Down

When it comes to marriage, some people are persistent to make such thing comes true while some believe that it is not really necessary. Some people will get cranky when they're being asked about it. Especially when they already passed through the 'scheduled' time in where the society has insisted that they should have been married—along with the vibes that people bring which can make them feel less confident. 

To certain ages, marriage can no longer be used as a joke. The question we ask may sound simple, for example, "when will you get married?". One day, I asked that question to one of my senior. She answered the question with a wry smile on her face "I did, once". And then I suddenly reminded of the truth that she already got divorced and now she is raising a kid on her own. I felt really sorry by the moment she answered the question and gave hear a bear hug. Sigh..

A friend of mine has acknowledged that he thought the marriage is something he doesn't really need in his life. Of course, some internal factors become the reason why did he think so. There was just two of us talking, so the statement sound a lil' bit strong in my ear. He said that he has plenty of dreams in the future—and by the presence of someone in his life, he thought that it will just obstruct him in reaching out that dreams of his. What an idealist. 

I didn't blame him for the way his mind works, eventhough the statement he just barely spoken at that time somehow sounds mistaken. I also think that some people who are close to him will surely be disappointed. Moreover, when it comes to his family circle. By the way, he's going to be 31 by this year. So you can imagine the pressure he has been facing over years, especially everytime he's being told to find a life companion. I think that would be very way more disappointing to the woman who loves him—to get to know about his point of view about the need of marriage—which he thinks is not needed. Unless if that woman also has the same point of view that we still can survive without the presence of partner. But how would it be when two person with such point of view meet and fall for each other?  Probably, they will just spend days by saying "I love you" to each other and forget it a day after until one reveal it all over again. 

The divorce cases make some people don't believe in the sacredness of marriage. I often hear people said "even the married ones still has the possibility to get divorced" which pretty much sounds like "let's not be too surprised if any of us give up first because that's totally normal and that's how this life supposed to work"

The failures often make people do generalize. Some people don't believe in something before they experience, while some others experience without ever believe in it before. We tend to learn from the existing case, and that doesn't mean bad because being sceptical is also needed—eventhough we know that what each people are experiencing with different characters and level of intelligence will not be exactly the same. And there also goes a thing called fate, which is out of our business. You just can't generalize because obviously, it's not that every guys are jerk. It's not that every girls are slut. It's not that everyone who log on to Omegle is feeling horny.

A study concluded that what matters in one particular family is the presence of two biological parents. A children will do better when raised by a married mother and father. Thereby, the marriage is primarily needed. The conclution will turn otherwise if a children is raised by the un-married. Although there's no guarantee for the marriage to remain flawless. And yet, this life has nothing to compare with those well-written fairytale.

I believe in marriage with all the advantages and the shortcomings that follow. I believe in the hidden truth that two people who happen to love each other keep to themselves. I believe more in things people choose to be left un-shown. 

Nobody wants to be homeless. So once you've commited marriage, that's the time you place a home within that person whom you choose. That's all you carry whenever you're alone together.

Whenever you see old couple that has been together for like over 30 years, don't think that they are the happiest or the most loyal couple alive. Think of the effort they've been doing in order to taking care of their "home" instead of how happy they might seem, because that's the time you start to compare. 

Grow

When I was a kid, I used to be really afraid of overcast. I remember that each night, I always walk outside the house to check whether there are stars up there. When I couldn't find the stars lies over the sky, I feel worried. That means, the cloud is covering the sky. Which means again, the weather is not really good and it will be rainy by soon.

No, it's not that I dislike rain. But, my biggest fear at the time was bad weather that first come up with the sign of cloudy sky. I was really afraid of disaster. I was afraid that such thing would make me lose the ones I love. I can't even bear the thought about it.

It's kind of tickling everytime I remember those habit; walk outside the house and look up to the night sky. It's funny how the thick globs of dark cloud literally got myself worried. Despite the fact that as we all know, overcast doesn't always mean that it will be rainy tho.

All those childhood fears still well remained until now. During 21 years, there are a lot of overcast I've gotten through. Next, in the process of growing, the fears in my life becomes way more complex and varied; compared to the droplets which I used think—always—is a sign of disaster. I'm afraid of getting failed on the university entrance test. I'm afraid when I come home late after hours hangin' around with friends. I'm afraid of being not good enough in the society. I'm afraid of not having the opportunity to make my parents happy. There are a lot of things that I fear which not only makes my heart tremble, but it also makes me mentally overwhelmed. Well, the fears are now twofold.

The last couple years were the most challenging years. On the other side, there were also a lot of things I could pick as lessons. Sometimes I wonder how does it feels like to live with physical disability—for instance, blind. On the one side, they are classified as lucky because the shortcoming make them doesn't have to see the heartbreaking views, nor the heartless. Sometimes I think that life isn't fair, but then I think back again, "Do you think the shortcoming which they happen to live with is fair to them? NO."

I learn that this life is actually fair, because it's unfair for everyone. Everyone has their own role. Thereby, there's nothing such as useless nor unworthy. People are responsible for what they do.

I learn that in such a bad situation, we shouldn't let things get any worse. There are few things that better left untold—like the good deeds—or prayers—no matter how significant the influence that it brings.

I learn that everyone is struggling hard. They all got the ones they care for. If only I could, I wish everyone—no matter how bad they were once—whoever they are—could get into heaven. Like, really. We were born equally as human being.

I learn that if we see things as God's way, we tend to be way more grateful.

I could say that I'm shaped by the burdens that I had carried with me for so long. Those lessons got my insight turn another way around. They help me to grow and overcome things. I may not be the strongest or the most patient one. I'm just a life learner who try to let go of things. Because you know, things changes like every second. And if you can't adapt to it, you're defeated.

Workshop: Art for Peace and Reconciliation

On November 27 and 28, 2015 (which is last month), I had the opportunity to attend a workshop carried out by Kelola foundation which was held at Rumata' Art Space. This activity was attended by artist domiliated in city of Makassar which comes from various artistry backgrounds. Not only from visual artist, there were also another type of art that they do, which are performing arts, movies, music, literature, and festival.

This opportunity itself was a coincidence for me. Previously, I was invited by e-mail by team of Kelola foundation based on the recommendation from an awesome guy I've just barely known like a month ago. First, I was not sure to come by because I'm kinda having some lack of self-confidence issue. But then after some consideration, like this activity is not open for public (I could say myself a chosen one) and then a friend of mine convinced me that it was a pretty good start, I decided to just go ahead eventhough I really have no idea who is coming. I even got there all by myself.

Along with the invitation sent by e-mail, there were a number of files contains the form of identity that will be filled by participant with two core questions:

What social problems you want to put as target?
What artistic intervention (works of art) that you want to do in dealing with these problems?

The questions are quiet simple. But on the other side, it somehow loses my appetite. I'm gonna tell you next time about my own ideas because I had no chance to explain to them. Or maybe I had, but I chickened out.

So, talking about Kelola foundation (www.kelola.or.id), this foundation is a nonprofit organization working in the field of art and culture. Both fields becomes their major focus with the hope that they can develop the arts in Indonesia so it can continue the living and be highly competitive in around the globe. Kelola has opened learning opportunities for over 3.500 artists from Indonesia through their program which is a cooperation with some international institutions.

Kelola foundation as a group is aware of the huge potential in the arts in Eastern Indonesia. But on the other hand, the region also experienced some complex social problems. Therefore, the output that they expect can be contained from this activity is a diclosure of explanation for some of the following questions:

Why the Eastern Indonesia region is very prone to conflict and violence?
What is the source or the core of all those problems?
Where is the position of the culture in this matter?
Does art have the potential to take role as a mediator, or even the originator of reconciliation in society?

With theme "Art for Peace and Reconciliation", the workshop that was held for two days was opened by Niwan A. Arsuka by giving a little introduction about the social issues that are currently happening around us with the ideas of reconciliation that can possibly be done. The first day was filled by sharing about the power of art in the public space. And then the second day continued with the technique of proposal writing related to the art project that has been discussed on the previous day and more detailed explanation about the series of activities of the project.

The social problems that are described based on the experience of each artists or any issues that interest them. Two of the problems are begal and motorcycle gang that once become a hot issue in past several months. These social problems was pointed out by one of the participant to be discussed together so then anyone could come up with the idea of artistic intervention that can be done afterwards. Sure, there are so many people who feel anxious by the presence of those motorcycle gang. We also discussed what is the thing that can be a trigger of their nonsense-appearance. Some of the answers are: they are in the searching for existence or self identity, the exaggerated energy surplus of the members of motorcycle gang that mostly are teenagers, lack of supervision of their closest people, and how those issue is closely related to media nowadays.  

Not only motorcycle gang issue, the other participants also shared their story which they experienced and felt by themselves. Like the story of one of other participants; he told about how the art—indirectly—made the brash behaviour of students in Labuan Bajo become devastated. He told that the students are given a special room in their school to express their feelings in their souls that has been overwhelmed for so long. Another participant also told their awareness about the issue of refugees, which comes with various factor such as war, natural disaster, and discrimination. 

And then, how artistic intervention (works of art) can be done in dealing with these problems? These question then becomes a trigger in where the social conflicts becomes its target. 

A simple example, for instance; Music. Through the music, several artists are voicing the call for peace. Music is used as a tool to touch the sense of humanity, universally. Probably, we are all familiar with songs like Imagine by John Lennon, Heal The World by Michael Jackson, or We Will Not Go Down (Song For Gaza) by Michael Heart. 

The first thing that pops into mind is the attempts to divert activities that can be trigger of conflict through art activities. This discussion subsequently gave birth to new ideas that are developing the basic ideas of one participant. A few of them are the idea of an exhibition of making sculpture in public space, involving motorcycle gang members, with the hope to turn their negative activities into something productive. The next idea is performing arts, with a concept of helping refugees to express and describe their problems. In addition, this performing arts is expected to educate public so they can understand the problems of refugees. The next ideas are to make a colossal theater, musical stage, and so on—which we expect can resolve the social problems around us. 

The idea of each artists that have been processed together will then be chosen to be accomplished based on proposals which will be submitted on the next time.

Of course, we hope that it doesn't stop at just the tip of implementation. However, there are processes that bring learning to the individual and the society. As well as the impact and impression that left after the art projects carried out. 

*this article is written to be published on Ruang Antara, with a little addition. 

The Last Movie I Watched

Last week I watched a movie called "The Little Prince". It's an animated movie which is produced in Paris. Based on the literature that I've read, The Little Prince movie is adapted from a classic novel by Antoine de Saint-Exupery written in 1943 with the same title as it is on the movie. Actually I rarely watch an animated kind of movie. The last time I watched such movie was when I get to accompany my little sister to watch Minion, and I was pleased.

On several occasions few times back then when I watched American Ultra, there were some movie trailers that will be playing on cinema. The first thing that stole my attention is the soundtrack. The music that plays along The Little Prince's movie trailers got me falling (lately I know that it was Gabrielle Aplin singing. No wonder why I'm so into it). Moreover, the dialogue pieces and the visualization got me curious even more. The movie trailer describes the turbulence of becoming adults, with heart-touching quotes. For me, to get to discuss the issue of maturity is a very complex thing, yet it's so quiet exciting tho.

That night I wasn't planning to watch movie. The only thing I thought of was a bowl of meatballs at the roadside stall—that I craved for, like a lot. After eating a bowl of meatballs with cold mineral water accompanied by him, we went on a trip and he randomly asked me to watch movie. (Well, he is a movie enthusiast, and I'm the one who's gonna decide whether we will be going to cinema—pretty much when I feel like it). As usual, I check the movies that is currently playing on the cinema through smartphone. As soon as I know that The Little Prince movie is in now-playing list, I immediately said yes—eventhough it was already a little late.

After ensuring the duration of The Little Prince movie (because I have to estimate what time I'll be arriving home), we then bought two tickets. First I thought that there will be just two of us in the studio. Because when we buy tickets, all of the seats are wholly unfilled. Even when we got in, we are the first audience that present in. We spent that occasion by taking picture of us in front of the screen. :))

Source: www.vulture.com

The Little Prince tells about a little girl who lost her childhood joy due to the demands of her single mother. She was forced to constantly studying in order to be accepted at the academy in where her mother has been wanting for all along. One day, after she couldn't make it to the academy entrance test, she and her mother moved to the other house. Her next days at that house are filled with well-organized schedule she's got to obey from the moment she woke up until the time she goes to sleep. The schedule contains the routine daily activities such as getting up early, exercise, eat, study, eat, study again, and so on. There's no activities such as playing or having fun that little child should be doing at their age. Every single day that she gets through are under the control of the schedule that is arranged by her mom.

One day, as a typical day when she's being left by her mom who's going to work, an incident occured. Somebody who lives next door conducting a flying-airplane experiment at his backyard. But the experiment failed, and it was causing a damage to The Little Girl's house. It was the first time she noticed the neighbour who lives next to her house. The Aviator is an eccentric old man. All the neighbourhood witnessed when he's being interrogated by police man. But they're all looking at him like he's a genuine weirdo.

The Aviator thought of telling her his strange desert tale, so then he setted the plan right away. He made a paper airplane contained with his tale and some drawings, and fly it toward The Little Girl's window room. She was studying at the moment, and then she received it directly. But all she thought about was it was nothing but a waste. So she just thrown it away.

The Little Girl who spend most of her time alone—as well as the man who lives next door, suddenly bump into each other. It's like they finally got companion after all the times they've been spending in solitude. The Little Girl came to The Aviator's backyard as he's busy looking after his obsolote airplane. She asked a lot about the story that is written on the paper airplane she once thrown. And just by that day, The Aviator spent his next days with the little girl and telling her his whole desert tale.

She neglected the schedule that is made for her for a while—she even deceived her mom instead. It's not that she's being brash. All she knows that she got to feed her brain with lessons she's experiencing herself. And yet she doesn't want to let her curiousity left unanswered.

By The Aviator's desert tale called The Little Prince, The Little Girl encounters a journey. She was immersed in the story of The Little Prince; a little boy who got lost in the desert after falling from an asteroid. She learned about the magic of imagination—and the sincerity, and so the good deeds. But one day, The Little Girl got pissed off because of the unexpected ending of the tale. She was mad, and not wanting to see The Aviator, probably for quiet some times.

It has been quite a while since they didn't talk to each other. It was a rainy afternoon. The Little Girl was with her mom heading to their house by car. How breath-taking it is when she saw an ambulance and the crowd in the front of The Aviator's house. She got off the car—not caring about her mom and the rain that is pouring by so heavy. She was keep running through the rain towards the ambulance. But it's already gone, in a rush. She felt miserable and couldn't hold the tears (and so did I in the cinema). She couldn't resist the guilt she felt somehow, and then she took a bike that she robbed randomly on the road and riding it under the rain towards the hospital. Her mom was dangling after her.

She wanted to help The Aviator, one way or another. She finally came up with an idea that the only person who could help her to get things right is The Little Prince. One night, when the weather wasn't really good—and while The Aviator is hospitalized, The Little Girl ran away from her house and fly The Aviator's airplane to an asteroid where The Little Prince lives. That asteroid populated exclusively by adults—as The Aviator has been pictured in his story.

The Little Girl had a very valuable yet astonishing journey. She got a lot of lessons from the story of The Little Prince. He pointed out the beauty of simple things that somehow grown-up people missed along the way. Something that just can be felt by heart.

Source: www.adeecodedlife.com

As her journey over, she returned home with stories she wants to tell to The Aviator. The Little Girl is accompanied by her mom when she visited The Aviator at the hospital. She presented him his completed novel—the one The Little Girl has thrown away the last time they met. He was pleased by the gift. The Little Girl then begins her semester at Werth Academy—as the goal she has been working hard to accomplish.