Poem? #2

Right at this moment, when i find it hard to sleep
just like another night
the moment when i just stare at the wall
the moment when i just let my mind drown into the deepest
the moment when i just let those sketchbook opened, without being touched
the moment when i play the songs but not really listening
just let them playing, let them make some noisy voice around my ears
the moment when nobody is awake but me
the moment when i think 'how if i die?'
the moment when i think 'how it feels if my beloved ones passed away?'
the moment when i think 'how if i ever given a chance to change things that are gone?'
the moment when i think about you. how would it be if we two meet earlier?
the moment when i'm starting to make some fantasy of sweet moments.
the moment when  i finally realize that i'm thinking too much, i've been drowning to the deepest
and eventually, i fall asleep with so much questions hanging on me, and all those expectations i can never change.

-asy

Poem?

i don't wanna fall for something i thought was love
i don't wanna start anything i could never get done
i don't wanna build things i could never finish
i don't wanna take things that would end up gone
i dont wanna be the one leaving, yet the one who being left
can we just sit around and let the quietness trapped in between?
i'm scared, i'm scared of losing things i've never really had
despite sometimes i wish it was all mine forever
but we never really own something, don't?
and forever is only a matter of time.
i don't wanna be the one walking away, yet the one who being walked away from
Sometimes i thought it's myself the only one who stay
but then i found my feets moving away, and i'm leaving
just like everyone else
no differences, as what i thought of
so, why scared of being alone?
why?
i sometimes think that the way they see through me, is just how i see through them
so i have to stop think deeply, i have to stop guessing what's in other people's mind
because i have no idea, and they have no too.
i'm living in the world full of questions
it hangs around, people leave them unanswered
then i'm starting to consider my self as a question
i'm hanging around, looking for answers
why are things seem to going wrong?
what makes the answers seem too hard too find?
is it because they are too difficult? too complicated?
Or is it just my self who complicate things, by keep looking for the answers anyway?
Curiousity kills, and i'm deceived
im starting to fall for things i thought was love
i take things, i build things
and i'm losing things that i thought would become mine forever.

-asy